ME: *potters into spare room*
CAT: What are you doing here? This is MY room!
ME: Can't sleep so I'm going to read for a bit until I nod off.
CAT: Where is .... *shudders* ... It?
ME: Next door in her basket.

CAT: Awesome!! PUUUURRRRRR! *leaps on me and frantically paws my tummy*
ME: Lil, this isn't going to help me get to sleep.
CAT: *glares* Do I look like I give two shits about you? Cuddle me, bitch, and be quick about it. You never know when that bastard dog might arrive.
DOG: I can hear everything you're saying, just so you know.