Darling Cat,
I think it's wonderful that you're so appreciative of all the hard work that Mummy has put in to revamping the garden. However, I have a little bit of feedback about your use of the garden:
1. Ornamental grasses are bloody expensive and are not there for you to snack on. There's a great big patch of plain normal grass for that.
2. Planter boxes don't double as commodes. Please stop digging up my jasmine plants so you can have a dump!
3. If you will insist on digging up the flower beds, please could you sweep up the mess you've made.
4. I don't know what you have against the delphinium, but please leave it alone. It's been through enough.
5. Please could you relinquish control of the old barbeque so we can bin it. The big pile of rusting junk spoils the aesthetic of the garden. Just because you like to sleep on it doesn't mean it's staying!
6. Bramble is allowed to use the garden too. It's not acceptable to hide in the shrubs and leap out like a ninja everytime the dog settles down for a wee!
Ever thine,
Mummy x